Fat, Drunk and Stupid

is how I've been rolling as of late. No Mas! I needz to get back in shape. After all, I'm supposedly going to ride the entire C&O Canal Towpath in a couple of months. Unfortunately, this means no more alcoholidays for awhile.

Enjoy it while it lasts, liver!

Olympic Update

Yay America.

Musings on the Winter Olympics

A. Good news - I have decided to Join Bode.

This is not a commitment I take lightly. I stand firm and proud beside my countryman, unburdened by the inconsequent baublery bestowed upon the victorious, with frosty mug in hand.

2. One of my favorite things about the olympics is that it gives me a chance to go up into the attic, dust off my inflatable Elfi Schlegel doll, and give it a jolly rogering.

d. I'm glad to see America has a case of Curling Fever. I've had it ever since I went skiing in Canada a few years ago and spent my downtime taking in the Brier. And while you won't find a bigger Pete Fenson fan this side of the Mason-Dixon line than yours truly, Quebec's Guy Hemmings will always be atop my curling pedestal.

He may be the clown prince of curling, but there's nobody I'd rather have throwing the hammer in the tenth end.


A. Another Video Professor angle courtesy of SuperMilkChan:

While I may question the use of Photoshop over old school MS Paint, props for the effort.

2. For what was probably the first time in my life, I listened to "One Night in Bangkok" in its entirety the other day. What a treat! This toe-tapping travelogue packs more punch into 4 minutes than any Fodor's I've read. Move over, Rick Steves, here comes Murray Head.

d. I really wish this guy would have popped up after Cheney shot that 78-year old quail:

I've got mad MS Paint skillz

As you would expect, I've been thinking a lot about new and exciting marketing angles for Video Professor. These are just rough sketches, as I haven't really had time to think them through, but I wanted to give Video Professor a taste of what I can bring to the table (and maybe he'll give me a copy of 'Learn Adobe Photoshop' HAHAHAHAHAHA oh that's rich.)

Video Professor After Dark

Whaddya say, sweet cheeks...are you ready for your tutorial?


Super DJ Professor's All Nite Computer Learning Rave

Kids are a lot more interested in learning when you make learning fun. With Video Professor pumping out today's hottest club beats, this Corel WordPerfect 9 party is off the hook! Glow sticks and pacifier not included.

Video Professor on Ice

I'll be honest - this one's kinda gay. I'm working on it.

Dream Job Alert

Props to Darth Chaucer for alerting me to the job of my dreams -- Director of Public Relations for Video Professor.

Peep this, homes:

* Video Professor wants to “take it up several notches” by hiring a proven Public Relations expert to promote Video Professor and its’ [sic] CEO in new and exciting venues.

Ahem...already done.

* This is a highly visible position within Video Professor reporting directly to the CEO.

How cool would it be to hang with this guy?

* Ownership of every project will be yours if you demonstrate resourcefulness, aggressiveness, tact, diplomacy, passion, integrity and a dedication to the position, which will mark you as an ambassador for this great company.

I'm nothing if not aggressively tactful, passionately diplomatic, and integrita..integritou...resourcefully dedicated. And a slave to fashion, but that's not relevant here. Plus, I'm a fellow blogger, which should help me get my foot in the door.

(props to SuperMilkChan for the VPBlog 411)

Wish me luck!