It's funny when old white people rap

Sweet Lou - busting rhymes so fresh somebody's finna pop a cap in his ass.

Practice makes perfect

All that time I've spent with my spellbook really paid off today!


Happy Father's Day!

To all the dads who read this blog, to Darth who's working on his second year with this little bundle of awesomeness, and of course to Ed, incorrigible curmudgeon that he is.

Cheers to you all.

As for me, it's a slightly different holiday:

Don't I feel like a horse's ass.

I completely forgot that June is Pride Month. Belated props to all my homoz!

Ed. Yes, clearly I could put some more thought into this post and add some insightful commentary regarding the struggles that sexual minorities in America have endured and overcome, but at this point I've had a lot of wine and I'm about to go to bed.

The best thing about summer?

The extra smoking!


I think Judd Hirsch is sporting a woodrow!

Certain days of the year are just magical

Tomorrow is one of those days.

Someday, I will return to the wonderful city of Portland, OR, to sample the holy grail of doughnuts. I may not have that option tomorrow, but that won't make the day any less special.

Happy National Doughnut Day!

Hands Across Ed McMahon

I have an important message to all of you - no, really, I'm serious this time: Ed McMahon needs our help.

There are plenty of avenues available for help & support. Cash donations are always acceptable and welcome, but even something as simple and selfless as traveling to Ed's house and filing his bunions would mean so much to this Ameri-hero in his time of need.

I'm willing to do whatever it takes to help get America's Sidekick back on his feet. To that end, I pledge to buy Ed one container of Turtle Wax for every comment this post receives. And - I'm just doing this on the fly now - I'll even throw in another 10 containers myself. No strings attached.

Okay, y'all, lets show Ed how clean we want his car to be! MAKE SOME NOISE MOTHER[bad word]ERS!!!

So what's going on with you? Not much here.

But I did buy some new sunglasses today.

I think I've been doing this wrong

I've been slathering my six-pack and pectosauruses with Miracle Whip and spreading Preparation H on my burgers.

Also, in case you've been looking for some good news in the wake of the recent spate of celebrity deaths, please take solace in the fact that Ernest Borgnine is still with us.