Big Ups to Iran for that conference dealie

I too would like to see Business Professional attire wiped off the map.

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...and they would strangle us with neckties and chain us with cufflinks...

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Dude, suits are back. I guarantee it.

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We have an apologist in our midst! One who would spread discomfort and sizeable drycleaning bills across the globe!

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You've embarked on a road to ruin! Business Casual is a slippery slope, my friend.

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Do not be fooled by his rhetoric! It is a myth that has been disproved!

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Indeed, there are many snappy combinations that can be worn to project a confident, professional image. Just wait until you see what's hitting the runways in Milan this spring!

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I'm telling you, you look like a slob without a tie.

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Oh, is this better, Mr. Menswearhouse? Look at me, I'm putting on a necktie.

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PSYCH! It's a hat! No way would I wear one of those homo tie dealies.

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But you are a homo. I have proof.

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...uh oh...

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Happy Holidays

I'm sending out my Christmas cards today and just realized that I don't have addresses for all of my loyal readers, so I'll send you all an e-card instead.

From the CTK family to yours, have a safe and happy holiday season.
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Today's Lunch Special

Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, and unbridled hilarity on a sesame seed bun.

Seriously - Abe Vigoda AND Shaq? What's not to like?

Finally, after years of struggling

I've figured out who Alan Keyes reminds me of:

Now I can concentrate on trying to figure out whether the Fantana on the far right is really Pedro Astacio.

Guest Blogger

Uncle Sam continues to keep me me a favor and be kind to my guest host Lenore Huffmann-Hines while I'm away -- CTK

Hi there!

Thanks for letting me share my latest "mews" with all of you!

Princess Persephone St. Cloud, a.k.a. Princess, a.k.a. Pippi turned 4 years old last week!

If she looks familiar, you may be thinking of her brother Mr. Tompkins J. Scallywag, a.k.a. Scamp, who can be seen on TV.
Good looks run in the family, lol!

Anyhoo, Pippi had an absolute ball with her friends Mitten and Tigger. Cosmo stopped by for a bit later in the day to join in the festivities. All in all, it was a purr-fect party! See for yourself:

Mitten and Tigger rocking out!

Cosmo working it!

OMG, are those not HYSTERICAL? My friend Charlene knows a web designer and got him to make those pictures. It's im-paws-sible not to laugh!

That's all for meow. Remember - Hang in there baby, Friday's coming!

;) Lenore

Didja think I quit or something?

Playa, please.

Uncle Sam has kept me busy the past weeks, including a trip to the City of Brotherly Love. While I was able to indulge in a local delicacy and take in some entertaining local fashion, the highlight was spending time with my favorite Philly peeps.

Vote 'n Stuff, America!
Apparently I am the swing-y-est of swing voters today.

More importantly, Dubya Tee Eff is going on in Alaska? Someone wants to deny me my God-given right to fly in a plane and shoot a wolverine in the same day?

That shit's Taliban.

10 Fun Things To Do In This Weekend

Source: A random assortment of Ernsts

1. Airbrush a picture of Wolverine on the hood of your Cressida.

2. Two words: Model. Railroading. And I'm not talking that HO Scale crap.

3. Better rent a rug doctor - you can still see the blood on the carpet in the den.

4. Beadazzle your lederhosen.

5. Drive the ol' skin bus into Tuna Town, if you know what I mean (and I do mean it).


7. One part Steely Dan...two parts Malibu Bay Breeze...and one part Leggy Blonde.

8. Treat yourself to a new pair of shoes - you're worth it!

9. Wiggle it (just a little bit).

10. Get your crunk on.

Hello Larry!

Thanks to the Czabe, I've got the "Hello Larry" theme song stuck in my head. I'm not complaining - on the contrary, I'd love to watch an episode or two right about now.

I'd also be up for a She's the Sheriff chaser.

Laugh Yourself Thin!

Your favorite (and apparently somewhat plus-sized) blogger recently had his body fat measured, with less-than-optimal results. Said body fat test has motivated me to exercise regularly and eat right. I joined a new gym last week, which should take care of the first part, and thanks to everybody's favorite center square Paul Lynde, I'll be up to my ears in guilt-free grub.

It takes one to glaze one!

By the way, when is this coming out on DVD?

"Totally Bangable"

Those are cutsiepie6480's words, not mine. Where are they from?

The Greatest Internet Message Board Ever.

Shocking new Foley IM revealed

Maf54 (7:33:39 PM): what r u wearing

[redacted screenname] (7:33:47 PM): tshirt jeans

Maf54 (7:34:04 PM): any clever sayings on that shirt

[redacted screenname] (7:34:14 PM): its a radioheda concert shirt

[redacted screenname] (7:34:19 PM): radiohead

Maf54 (7:34:21 PM): oh i thought maybe it was an im with stupid shirt

[redacted screenname] (7:34:39 PM): lol those are hilar

Maf54 (7:35:02 PM): or vote for pedro

[redacted screenname] (7:35:29 PM): ya my sis has one of those

Maf54 (7:35:45 PM): kewl

[redacted screenname] (7:36:46 PM): my dad has its not a beer belly its a fuel tank for a sex machine

Maf54 (7:37:27 PM): omg lol

[redacted screenname] (7:37:46 PM): really lol

[redacted screenname] (7:37:52 PM): got it in daytona

Maf54 (7:38:04 PM): im still laffing

[redacted screenname] (7:38:34 PM): have u ever seen a stiffy lube shirt

[redacted screenname] (7:38:42 PM): u know like jiffy lube

Maf54 (7:39:32 PM): OMG LOL

[redacted screenname] (7:41:57 PM): and it says enter in rear

Maf54 (7:42:27 PM): LOLLERSKATES

[redacted screenname] (7:42:38 PM): haha…or additional porking in rear

Maf54 (7:43:27 PM): OMG ROFLCOPTER

Maf54 (7:43:54 PM): dude so funny

[redacted screenname] (7:44:01 PM): haha ya

Maf54 (7:46:01 PM): well I better let you go do oyur thing

[redacted screenname] (7:46:07 PM): oh ok

[redacted screenname] (7:46:11 PM): have fun raiping boys

[redacted screenname] (7:46:17 PM): or however you spell it

Young man,

could you show us on this deceased turkey where Congressman Foley touched you?

*laugh track*

Nobody does topical political humor like I do. Nobody.

Happy Rocktober

I won't rehash last year's schtick on this topic, but I do want to wish everyone season's greetings and harken back to my first concert - the Rock-afire Explosion. I'm glad to see they're still going strong.

Colonix Corner
Eh, nothing much to report. Volume remains strong, texture remains kinda loose but not overly so. I'm glad to see that it's actually had some effect, but I'm kinda bummed that I haven't seen any salamanders swimming around in the bowl or anything. C'est la vie.

My senator makes me kvell

You schlemiels may think that the junior senator from Virginia is just a good ol' goyim with a soft spot for monkeys

but you're wrong!

He's a regular mensch who proudly embraces his Yichus.

And to all of you meshuggah nudnicks with the chutzpah to throw out that narishkeit that he doesn't like the schvartzes, you couldn't be more wrong.

You schmucks make me so angry I could plotz.

Colonix Corner
I'm back down to one-a-days, but the volume remains impressive. This past weekend I laid a 3-foot rope in the bowl, and I have to say I was rather proud of myself.