10 Fun Things To Do In This Weekend

Source: A random assortment of Ernsts

1. Airbrush a picture of Wolverine on the hood of your Cressida.

2. Two words: Model. Railroading. And I'm not talking that HO Scale crap.

3. Better rent a rug doctor - you can still see the blood on the carpet in the den.

4. Beadazzle your lederhosen.

5. Drive the ol' skin bus into Tuna Town, if you know what I mean (and I do mean it).


7. One part Steely Dan...two parts Malibu Bay Breeze...and one part Leggy Blonde.

8. Treat yourself to a new pair of shoes - you're worth it!

9. Wiggle it (just a little bit).

10. Get your crunk on.

Hello Larry!

Thanks to the Czabe, I've got the "Hello Larry" theme song stuck in my head. I'm not complaining - on the contrary, I'd love to watch an episode or two right about now.

I'd also be up for a She's the Sheriff chaser.

Laugh Yourself Thin!

Your favorite (and apparently somewhat plus-sized) blogger recently had his body fat measured, with less-than-optimal results. Said body fat test has motivated me to exercise regularly and eat right. I joined a new gym last week, which should take care of the first part, and thanks to everybody's favorite center square Paul Lynde, I'll be up to my ears in guilt-free grub.

It takes one to glaze one!

By the way, when is this coming out on DVD?

"Totally Bangable"

Those are cutsiepie6480's words, not mine. Where are they from?

The Greatest Internet Message Board Ever.

Shocking new Foley IM revealed

Maf54 (7:33:39 PM): what r u wearing

[redacted screenname] (7:33:47 PM): tshirt jeans

Maf54 (7:34:04 PM): any clever sayings on that shirt

[redacted screenname] (7:34:14 PM): its a radioheda concert shirt

[redacted screenname] (7:34:19 PM): radiohead

Maf54 (7:34:21 PM): oh i thought maybe it was an im with stupid shirt

[redacted screenname] (7:34:39 PM): lol those are hilar

Maf54 (7:35:02 PM): or vote for pedro

[redacted screenname] (7:35:29 PM): ya my sis has one of those

Maf54 (7:35:45 PM): kewl

[redacted screenname] (7:36:46 PM): my dad has its not a beer belly its a fuel tank for a sex machine

Maf54 (7:37:27 PM): omg lol

[redacted screenname] (7:37:46 PM): really lol

[redacted screenname] (7:37:52 PM): got it in daytona

Maf54 (7:38:04 PM): im still laffing

[redacted screenname] (7:38:34 PM): have u ever seen a stiffy lube shirt

[redacted screenname] (7:38:42 PM): u know like jiffy lube

Maf54 (7:39:32 PM): OMG LOL

[redacted screenname] (7:41:57 PM): and it says enter in rear

Maf54 (7:42:27 PM): LOLLERSKATES

[redacted screenname] (7:42:38 PM): haha…or additional porking in rear

Maf54 (7:43:27 PM): OMG ROFLCOPTER

Maf54 (7:43:54 PM): dude so funny

[redacted screenname] (7:44:01 PM): haha ya

Maf54 (7:46:01 PM): well I better let you go do oyur thing

[redacted screenname] (7:46:07 PM): oh ok

[redacted screenname] (7:46:11 PM): have fun raiping boys

[redacted screenname] (7:46:17 PM): or however you spell it

Young man,

could you show us on this deceased turkey where Congressman Foley touched you?

*laugh track*

Nobody does topical political humor like I do. Nobody.

Happy Rocktober

I won't rehash last year's schtick on this topic, but I do want to wish everyone season's greetings and harken back to my first concert - the Rock-afire Explosion. I'm glad to see they're still going strong.

Colonix Corner
Eh, nothing much to report. Volume remains strong, texture remains kinda loose but not overly so. I'm glad to see that it's actually had some effect, but I'm kinda bummed that I haven't seen any salamanders swimming around in the bowl or anything. C'est la vie.