Somewhere, a toilet is about to get hella clogged

(language NSFW)

Quote for the Day

Well you know they said it was my last ride man! Yesterday when I finished hanging and banging. When I jumped on the Harley man. As I went thru the intersection. As I headed for the mountains, some of the nonbelievers in the gym said "See ya later Hulkster man! This is your last ride." Ate me alive brothers. When I felt the fury. As I ripped. As I tore this shirt. As I headed for the sunset man. I looked down brothers. And as the sun beamed off the golden eyes, I realized that sooner or later, you gotta live and die and you gotta face the truth. And for you Andre the Giant, it's time to face the truth brother. Because when I think about what you and I have to do man. What I have to do is nothing. All I have to do is merely beat a seven foot four 550 pound giant. But Andre, you've gotta face the truth brother. In its purest form man. The purest truth there is man. The training, saying your prayers, eating the vitamins. And to beat me man, You've got to beat every little Hulkamaniac, every little Hulkster in the world. Everyone that plays it straight. All the ones that don't take any shortcuts brother. And they usually say "If the dirty air don't get you, the politicians will." But in this case. It's going to be Hulkamania. And the reason it's going to get you man, it's the purest form of the truth there is. And I can't wait to see you go down at the feet of Hulkamania in front of 90,000 plus in the Silverdome. What you gonna do Andre The Giant when the real truth, the 24 inch pythons and Hulkamania runs wild on you?

-- Hulk Hogan, Wrestlemania III


And then there were two

I can't say I'm terribly upset by this news. Hopefully he'll turn his attention back to what he does best.


Take the rugrats bowling, take them bowling

That's what I'll be doing tonight. Would it be inappropriate for me to break out the Pete Weber Crotch Chop in front of a bunch of schoolchildren? Given that we're bowling, I think I can get away with it.


Oldie but Goodie

and 100% true


I can't believe I missed Jordy's birthday.

Happy 20th li'l fella!

Design your own album cover!

I found this on some random blog while trying to avoid work. Here are the rules:

Go to……


The first article title on the page is the name of your band.


The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.


The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result as a comment in this post.

Here's mine:


Happy Timewasting!

Guten Tag!


Es freut mich sehr, ein Leberkäs in Hawaii zu essen!

Dear Mitt:

According to my readers, the answer is "Oates".

Here's my next iTunes download

They just don't make videos - or leopardskin jumpsuits - like they used to.

Big weekend for yours truly

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm nothing if not a slave to fashion - I'm all about runways and catwalks, spring collections and fall lines. And this weekend I'm on double duty, as I've got shows to attend in Paris and Manhattan. Yikes. At least I didn't have to go to Milan last week - after last year's post-show reception incident in which I managed to offend both Dolce and Gabbana, I don't think I'm welcome back there anytime soon.

Anyhow, wish me luck!


Mark your calendars

June 3, 2009


Psst....I've got a birthday coming up in a couple of months

and I've got two words for you: Tank. Chair.


Tank Chair is an off-road, all-purpose wheelchair that’s turning a lot of heads at the CES show. This tough chair is built out of a one-piece steel chassis with the tracks made from ruggedized rubber and lightweight aluminum struts. Boasting a top speed of 5 mph, the Tank Chair Mk II has 24V, 2HP, 127RPM variable speed motor that gets its juice from four Optima Deep Cycle batteries. Coming with a 22:1 gear ratio it can traverse a 10% incline, most likely so you can run over cars you don't like. Its creator claims that the chair can even outpace a golf cart. That sounds great as it would be able to go almost anywhere. Priced at $15,000, the Tank Chair is expected to be available later this month.


I wish it could go a bit faster, like the Speedster model, but I'm willing to sacrifice a little speed for off-road capability. I wonder what kind of torque the motor puts out. Also, I don't see any cupholders listed in the specs, but I can probably find some aftermarket options.

Crisis in Denmark


Copenhagen suddenly faces a critical Jergens and Kleenex shortage. Might be a good time to go long KMB.


I'll see Darth's shark hoodie and raise him an orca hat.


If only it would spew a fish-scented concoction of some sort - or clam chowder, for that matter - from a blowhole at regular intervals. That would be so cool.

Sorry I don't have more time to post right now

All you crazy kids with iPods might want to go here for the latest Pork 411. It's so much information, it's like getting 511.


Okay, so maybe I was wrong about Iowa.

But things are changing in New Hampshire!

Can you feel the Dennis-mentum? Mo-Den-tum? Moment- ah, forget it. Whatever it is, it's palpable!


I smell an Iowa surprise tomorrow

His supporters are turning out in droves

Iowans love a winner

Never underestimate the power of a mutant, gargantuan thumb