I'm leaving the ultimate winner of 2005's Rocktober Awesome Band of the Year up to you, my readers! After endless consultations with my inner circle, I've decided that two competitors are worthy of the crown. The final decision is up to you, dear readers.

It's hard to argue with this:

Duh-duh-duh-duhhh...duh-duh-duh-duh-duhh...duh-duh-duh-duhhhhh....duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duhhh...duh-duh-duhh...duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duhh-duhhh-duhhhhh...duh-duh-duh-duhhh...WE'RE HEADING FOR VENUS...

But to be honest with you, I'm not sure you can vote against this nugget:

My heart is human
my blood is boiling
my brain I.B.M.

Wow. And if you thought that was deep, wait until they handed the pen to the Unabomber.

The problem's plain to see:
Too much technology
Machinesto save our lives
machines de-humanize.

The final vote is up to you. Happy Rocktober!

Apparently I've been derelict in my Rocktober blogging duties

Sorry, I've been busy lately - hanging out at Rick's place, buying a new Detroit Tigers hat, shaking down Icepick's sources, and trying to keep my mustache colada-free.

Today's ABotD: Y&T

Robots + Guitars = Awesomeness. It's a formula that always works.

Happy Rocktober!

Today's ABotD


Sure, Mike Reno may not be able to fit into those red leather pants these days without a shoe horn and a generous amount of Crisco, but this album still holds up almost a quarter of a century later. Can you tell me with a straight face that you're not working for the weekend?

Happy Rocktober!

I miss working at home

I'm suffering from severe Magnum withdrawal.

Quit hassling me for updates!

I will post when the spirit moves me to do so. And today, the spirit has moved me to pay tribute to one of the great warrior spirits of Rock 'n Roll, Ted Nugent.

What's not to love about the Nuge?

- He rocks

- He shoots things

- He's a bestselling author

- He was Kalamazoo's Dad of the Year two years in a row

- He's a reality TV star

- He's even a champion of women's rights

That's not enough for you? Two words: Pork Slam.

Happy Rocktober - enjoy your Nuge Nuggets.

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians - except for the occasional mountain lion steak.

I am Classic Rock Revisited. I revisit it every waking moment of my life because it has the spirit and the attitude and the fire and the middle finger. I am Rosa Parks with a Gibson guitar.

I've been collaborating with a one-ton, herd-bull buffalo from South Dakota that I ride onstage. People don't know whether they should shit or go blind, it's so unbelievable to see this dynamic humpage onstage.

Music is always raved about as the universal communication, but, boy, if you don't celebrate in the universal communication, especially the tribal scream and the tribal rhythms, the dynamic of sex, meat and overwhelming your enemy: That's life, baby, and that's what I feel when I pick up the guitar or the bow.

(on running for Governor of Michigan in 2006) Michigan needs me desperately — the pimps and the whores and the welfare brats need to be introduced to my crowbar.

Pop Quiz

Or, perhaps more accurately, Rock Quiz. Today's Awesome Band of the Day is Night Ranger.

Test your NRIQ with this quiz - fill in the blank to complete an actual lyric from a Night Ranger song. Happy Rocktober!

1. You can still ____ in America
a. eat flank steak
b. rock
c. watch Designing Women reruns
d. question your self worth

2. Sister Christian now the time has come, and you know that you're the only one to say _____
a. how fat my ass looks in these pants
b. what you really think about Grandma's cooking
c. okay
d. the "N" word

3. I need a ____
a. woman
b. haircut
c. Fresca
d. bigger belt

4. Don't tell me ____
a. how to raise my children
b. how The Da Vinci Code ends - I haven't finished it yet
c. she's a dude
d. you love me

5. ____ came without a warning
a. The Publisher's Clearinghouse Prize Patrol
b. Four in the morning
c. Billy Mays
d. That unsightly rash I had

Belated Stadium Review

I caught the Nationals' season finale at RFK Stadium last weekend. The seats weren't bad, but the park is, in a word, dumptacular. I played little league games in parks with more character. My grade: D minus


If someone told you they were going to see Leslie, Felix & Corky, you'd probably tell them to enjoy the Scampi and slap a unity flag on the back of their Mini Cooper. Not so fast, bub - they're going to see Mountain, and they're going to be rocked into a near-coma.

And how can you not love a band whose guitarist released an album called The Great Fatsby?

Happy Rocktober!


German Godfathers of the speed metal movement, these Kraut rockers released some of the most ass-kicking riffs the 80s ever saw (most notably on the concept album Metal Heart, which peered into a crystal ball and saw the world in 1999 populated by people with metal hearts), only to flame out in the early 90s. The band recently reunited for a 25th anniversary tour, much to the delight of metalheads from Minsk to Belarus.

I know what you're thinking: what's with the kid in the sunglasses?

That's no kid, that's Udo Freaking Dirkschneider. He arrived on the scene just when Metal needed a new image. Someone short, fat, gay, and with the voice of Grover on crystal meth.

If you looked up "rock" in the dictionary, you'd see Udo staring back at you.

Happy Rocktober!


Today's Awesome Band of the Day - Bachman Turner Overdrive

The pride of Winnipeg.

BTO doesn’t just rock, they plant a steel-toed workboot firmly in your ass and tell you to fix them a sandwich. The guy on the left likes pastrami; the guy on the right is more of an Italian Beef fan. The guy in the middle will eat whatever you whip up for him and clog your toilet afterward.

PS - I'd like to thank the Mormons. Without them, BTO might never have taken care of business.