As much as I enjoy Shatner's solo performance on $20,000 Pyramid, I can't say anything he's done beats this gem:
(sorry Bill)
Shat-tacular
As much as I enjoy Shatner's solo performance on $20,000 Pyramid, I can't say anything he's done beats this gem:
(sorry Bill)
Somebody give me a HOO-HA TWO TIMES TUESDAY
Another take on Enron
The innocent victim of today's verdict:
Tonight's forecast: Mostly cloudy with a 70% chance of shame.
Tonight's forecast: Mostly cloudy with a 70% chance of shame.
What's missing from this picture?
A. Larry Wilcox reading Gil Gerard his rights
B. Clyde the orangutan backing the Mandrell Sisters on percussion
C. Arte Johnson and Willie Aames playing Frogger
D. Robert Conrad and John Davidson splitting a jug of Paul Masson
Haiku Redux
Darth has more fun with the Winnin' Ugly crowd here.
Haiku Corner
Today's theme: World Champs
Ribbie and Roobarb
Theirs was a love forbidden
Ribbie was catcher
Karko and Spanky
Untamed backstop warriors
Weak grounders to third
Ducksnort, can of corn
Tired geriatric windbag
How soon til He Gawn?
Heads up Li'l Dibber
Vance Law is standing on third
It's too late, you're out
Baseball pioneer
The legacy of Bill Veeck?
Midgets and short pants
Ribbie and Roobarb
Theirs was a love forbidden
Ribbie was catcher
Karko and Spanky
Untamed backstop warriors
Weak grounders to third
Ducksnort, can of corn
Tired geriatric windbag
How soon til He Gawn?
Heads up Li'l Dibber
Vance Law is standing on third
It's too late, you're out
Baseball pioneer
The legacy of Bill Veeck?
Midgets and short pants
Because you've been such a great audience
I'm giving you a present to commemorate 100 posts on this here blog dealie. I hope you enjoy #101 as much as I do.
Iraq is gonna be awesome after the war is over
Sunnis, Shiites & Kurds may not see eye to eye most of the time, but one thing they can all agree on: Lionel Richie is da bomb.
Grown Iraqi men get misty-eyed by the mere mention of his name. "I love Lionel Richie," they say. Iraqis who do not understand a word of English can sing an entire Lionel Richie song.
Once things settle down in Baghdad, I think we'll see the famous toppled Saddam statue replaced with this:
The design for their new currency is already in place:
And the eyes of the world will be upon the Iraqis when they stand up in unison, put their hands over their hearts, and sing their new National Anthem.
Help Wanted
I'm in the market for a new personal valet.
After several months of serving me ably, Hans Lippmann has decided to pursue a career in adult puppetry. I can't fault a man for chasing his dreams - Godspeed, Hans. Godspeed.
Hans at the award ceremony for the first ever CTK lottery for prospective manservants
I decided to scrap the lottery this year (the Pricewaterhouse Coopers auditor guy wasn't cheap, and he drank most of the booze at the afterparty) and hired an executive search firm. I've narrowed the field down to 3 candidates (technically 4), each of whom brings something unique to the table. Tough call.
Ocho
I assume that's a nickname, although why would you call yourself "eight"? Anyway, he knows how to make caiparhinas and claims to know a lot of women in Buenos Aires. Neither of those sound like bad things. He uses the words "tight" and "sick" an awful lot, though, which costs him some points.
Ron
Ron is really good at Everquest. I think he has like a billion platinum pieces or something.
Larry and Jimbo
These guys seem to be a package deal, although having two valets seems like overkill. And I don't have that much room in my house. That said, Larry can ride a unicycle and Jimbo does an unbelievable Dom Deloise impression. Plus their uncle owns like a dozen scimitars.
After several months of serving me ably, Hans Lippmann has decided to pursue a career in adult puppetry. I can't fault a man for chasing his dreams - Godspeed, Hans. Godspeed.
I decided to scrap the lottery this year (the Pricewaterhouse Coopers auditor guy wasn't cheap, and he drank most of the booze at the afterparty) and hired an executive search firm. I've narrowed the field down to 3 candidates (technically 4), each of whom brings something unique to the table. Tough call.
I assume that's a nickname, although why would you call yourself "eight"? Anyway, he knows how to make caiparhinas and claims to know a lot of women in Buenos Aires. Neither of those sound like bad things. He uses the words "tight" and "sick" an awful lot, though, which costs him some points.
Ron is really good at Everquest. I think he has like a billion platinum pieces or something.
These guys seem to be a package deal, although having two valets seems like overkill. And I don't have that much room in my house. That said, Larry can ride a unicycle and Jimbo does an unbelievable Dom Deloise impression. Plus their uncle owns like a dozen scimitars.
Sure, I couldn't afford the real thing
But I wish I would have looked into having Fake Loaf play my wedding.
The Iran Crisis: I've seen this before
You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
When I met you
I picked you out, I shook you up, and turned you around
Turned you into someone new
Now five years later on you’ve got the world at your feet
Success has been so easy for you
But don’t forget it’s me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too
Don’t, don’t you want me?
You know I can’t believe it when I hear that you won’t see me
Don’t, don’t you want me?
You know I don’t believe you when you say that you don’t need me
It’s much too late to find
You think you’ve changed your mind
You’d better change it back or we will both be sorry
I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
That much is true
But even then I knew I’d find a much better place
Either with or without you
The five years we have had have been such good times
I still love you
But now I think it’s time I lived my life on my own
I guess it’s just what I must do
CHORUS
Don’t you want me baby? don’t you want me - oh
Don’t you want me baby? don’t you want me - oh
Don’t you want me baby? don’t you want me - oh
Don’t you want me baby? don’t you want me - oh
Don’t you want me baby? don’t you want me - oh
Don’t you want me baby? don’t you want me - oh
Don’t you want me baby? don’t you want me - oh
Don’t you want me baby? don’t you want me - oh
Don’t you want me baby? don’t you want me - oh
Don’t you want me baby? don’t you want me - oh
What could possibly go wrong?
It looks like Darth Chaucer and I will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo in Tijuana. Does anyone have a one of these thingies I can borrow?
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