Odds 'n Ends

A. Impressive Company

I may have finally found an actor whose resume matches up against Bobby Sixkiller's:

The guy who played Bernie.


In fact, the evidence suggests Terry Kiser has greater range than Branscombe Richmond. His work spans across the genres, running the gamut from Manimal to Maude. In Richmond's defense, however, I don't see Kiser fronting a tinnitus-inducing rock & roll extravaganza.

2. Whaaaa?

Apparently, Lance Bass is gay.

Note to self: Check to see if gaydar is still under warranty.

d. Because I care
I'm sharing this with you. It's been in my head all morning.

I just get the feeling...

that CNN's Kyra Philips absorbs nothing that she reads off of her teleprompter. I don't think she even knows where Beirut is.

Not that I consider that a dealbreaker - I'd still spend 15 minutes with her and a roll of duct tape.

CONGRATULATIONS DARTH CHAUCER

Proud father of a happy, healthy baby girl. Last I heard Darth and the Mrs. were debating between the names Leia and Eowyn, although I was lobbying for Rhonda Jo. In any event, a happy day!

(OK, technically yesterday)

I almost forgot

2 more tidbits from my trip:

1. I had a Marlin Perkins moment that suddenly turned ugly:

"Hey, look, it's a sea otter!"
"Awwww. Wow, does it have a pup? CUUUUUTE!"
"No, it's another full-grown otter. Look, they're playing!"
"Splashing around and around! That is soooo cu-- WHY IS HE BITING THE OTHER ONE ON THE NOSE?!?! WHY IS HE PUSHING HIM UNDERWATER?!! OH GOD ARE THEY -- THEY'RE HAVING SEX!!!"
"Hey, there's some more whales over here off the..."
"NOW HE'S BITING HER EYEBROW!! HE WON'T LET GO!!!"

10 minutes of graphic, violent, and disturbing otter love, a mere 15 yards off the port side of the boat. Thank God no children were present.

2. Every night on the boat I had extremely vivid dreams. Highlight of the collection: I was walking down my driveway to get the morning paper and looked over to see my next door neighbor MC Hammer practicing his 2 Legit 2 Quit dance on his front lawn in a bathrobe and slippers. It was one of those stereotypical subdivisions where every house is the same as far as the eye can see, and about 10 or so other guys were also out getting their morning papers and watching the Hammer doing his footwork and hand symbols. I threw up my hands and exclaimed "Please Hammer don't hurt me!" with a chuckle, which elicited laughter from all of the other neighbors. Hammer laughed as well and gave me finger guns, and I flashed him the 2 Legit sign (index and middle fingers up signalling the number "2", followed by index finger and thumb at right angle in the shape of letter "L") and headed back inside for my coffee, paper tucked under my arm.

I'd gladly live in a crappy subdivision like that if Hammer was my neighbor.

Didja miss me?

I just got back from Alaska and boy are my arms tired. Wait - no, I just FLEW IN from...oh, never mind.

Anyhoo, the trip was great. Spent a few days backpacking around Juneau and hanging out at a pair of cabins, then tooled around on a boat for a week. Scads of critters - bears, humpbacks, eagles, and a whimsical porcupine that gnawed on our cabin every night at about 2 AM.

I also got to spend some time in one of my favorite cities. Biscuits & gravy at my favorite local hangout, a few beers at the market, a leisurely stroll through one of the great bookstores, a few more beers with a fellow Illini grad at his bar, and a game at one of baseball's best new ballparks made for an excellent couple of days.

One sidenote from the trip - beards are big in Alaska. I felt right at home. In fact, the World Beard Championship will be held there in 2009. I don't know if my chin spinach is glorious enough to allow me to join the U.S. Beard Team, but I may join my local chapter. And I also may register my beard online.

A Heartfelt Personal Message to my friend SuperMilkChan:

Buy this and thank me later.