Well, I'm nothing if not a man of my word, so here I am friends. It's been awhile, so pardon my rust. Here we go…
Men's skin care ain't what it used to be. It used to be that a bar of Zest and a washcloth was all a fella needed. Changing times… I miss Lamb Chop, but not half as much as I miss Shari Lewis… If you told me in 1996 that a business owned by Arnold, Sly and Bruce Willis would wind up in bankruptcy, I'd call you nutso. But that's exactly what happened to Planet Hollywood… If you ask me, Sprite is just 7-Up with a bigger marketing budget. I can't taste the difference… Who let the dogs out? Not Kelly Ripa. Her children Michael, Lola and Joaquin are all cute as a button.
If you're watching your cholesterol, don't forget about the good cholesterol. It sounds strange, but you actually want to make that number go up. A bowl of Quaker oatmeal is a great way to do just that. Kudos to my good friend Wilford Brimley for letting me in on that secret… Hurricane season is right around the corner, folks. Funnyman Robert Klein says 2006 could be a doozy… Dollar for dollar, there isn't a better fabric softener on the market than Snuggle… Mario Van Peebles is a terrific actor and a heckuva cook to boot.
If you haven't seen Annapolis yet, you're missing out on a terrific story… If we aren't careful with that crackpot in Iran, things could get ugly. Literally… Speaking of which, CNN money whiz Lou Dobbs says gas prices could keep going up. You know what? I believe him… Remember when everyone wanted formica on their kitchen counters? Not anymore, friends. These days, it's granite… Boscs are the most underrated pears ever. End of discussion… If you're not happy to see Jim Leyland back in a major league dugout, you're not a true baseball fan… Anyone who tells you Norman Mineta is a crummy Transportation Secretary doesn't know what he's talking about.
2 comments:
Was the "literally" for moi? :D
*wild applause*
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