Why I Boycotted the Oscars

Like most of you, I was on pins and needles January 31 waiting for the Academy Award Nominations to be released. When the Best Picture category was announced and The Pacifier wasn't among the nominees, I thought "OK, glaring omission, but the Academy also overlooked Stone Cold in 1991. They gotta give Vin Diesel his props." Did they? I think you know the answer to that, and now you know why I didn't watch ABC Sunday night.

And before you tell me that I'm way out in left field on this one, 9 out of 10 Carls agree with me.


"I would call The Pacifier 'edu-tainment', because I laughed and learned."




"I thought it was a delightful film with a heartwarming performance by Mr. Diesel. I also like scampi."




"That Diesel kid is the closest thing to Bogey I've seen since Karl Malden."




"Let's get one thing straight, alright? I'm not one of those...you know...those guys, but Vin just makes me sit up and take notice when he's onscreen. And I don't mean that in, you know, in a funny way."




"GET OFF MY PROPERTY"




"I have seen the future...its name is VIN"




"Tru dat, C."




"You didn't think he could do comedy, didja? Eat it, haters!"




"I haven't seen the movie yet, because my book club is still discussing the made-for-paperback version of the story and I don't want to ruin the ending. But I really like the book so far. Especially the pictures of Vin squirting the bad guys in the face with a juice box."




"Consider me Pacified!"