Almost-but-not-quite-celebrity sighting

So I'm in line at the grocery store yesterday, minding my own business, when I look around and see someone familiar working the cash register in another checkout lane.

Who is that? How do I know him?

Man, it's bugging me. It's right on the tip of my tongue - and it's definitely him.

Dammit, who IS that?

Got it! It's Play - from Kid 'n Play!



Yep, same hair, same mustache, same face... that's him. I thought he had transitioned into a decent career - producing, or maybe doing cartoon voiceovers or something. But a checkout clerk at an Arlington, VA Giant?

After checking out, I start heading in his direction, thinking of what to say to him:

This doesn't exactly seem like it's "2 Hype".

I loved you in House Party. House Party 2, not so much.

Not much of a "Funhouse", is it?

Hey, what's Kid --

Wait, that's not Play. That's a 45-year old woman. Never mind.

Why hasn't this been made into a movie yet?

There's more than enough material here to kill 90 minutes.

I swear I am not making this up.

Before I get to the goods, let me explain what led to this post. I recently returned from a trip to Cozumel, and although the diving/food/scenery was all nice and good, the highlight of the trip for me was the discovery of a local brand of adult diapers. I don't remember the brand name, but they were referred to as "safe pants". I found that amusing and thought I'd post a picture of the package.

No can do, homes. I searched The Internets far and wide, and found nary a link to a description of the product, let alone pictures. However, I was rewarded with a booby prize, which I'm now going to share with you. Come to think of it, this is much, much better than safe pants. It's a freaking discussion board for Depend wearers.

Strap on the pampers and enjoy this sample. I present it to you uncut, unedited, and without editorial comment.

Author: Legion
Long Trip making me nervous
Posted: 07 Mar 2005 07:50 PM
I have a long trip coming up and according to the friends i am going with we are making as few stops as possible. I dont want to get in the way of this but i have bladder control problems but am afraid to tell them. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what to wear that can hold alot for a long time? I dont want to be sitting there with a leaking diaper halfway through the trip and 3 hours left till a pit stop

Author: EARL H
Re: Long Trip making me nervous
Posted: 07 Mar 2005 11:12 PM
hello Legion,
your trip dosen't have to be a totally wet one.
here's why:
1st rule of long trips is to leave any and all beverages with caffine alone or drink a very small quanity.
2nd do use the overnight briefs with a boost pad for maximum absorbancy.
3rd to go along with the 1st rule do not over indulge in non-caffinated drinks, remember, the more you drink, the more you go.
4th and finally, sit back , relax, and don't let yourself stress over the long trip as this also causes more wetting.
so, get out there and have a good time.
ttfn
Earl H

Author: Perimenopause
Re: Long Trip making me nervous
Posted: 08 Mar 2005 01:20 PM
I know the feeling. I read the IC network advice (interstitial cystitis). They advise people who travel by car to take a 4 door vehicle. If you are travelling with people of the same gender or a husband/wife boyfriend/girlfriend scenario parent/child, one could open the passengers' front and back doors to create a private place for voiding along more remote parts of the highway. For ladies, windbreakers tied around the waist help provide modesty according to hiking forums. A quick emergency pee. Also an empty yogourt container and lid in the car may suffice.

Author: kathryn
Re: Long Trip making me nervous
Posted: 09 Mar 2005 08:18 PM
I would suggest following all the advice given by earl and also wearing a thick diaper such as molicare , abena xplus or tena ultra and also using a depend boost pad iwith them. Tena ultra or molicare are good choices since they don't make alot of noise, but they are very thick and absorbent.

Take spares in a backpack for quick changes at a rest stop. Also be sure to apply alot of powder or ointment before going on a long trip and reapply during any changes, the last thing you want it so have a nasty rash during your vacation!

Author: Legion
Re: Long Trip making me nervous
Posted: 10 Mar 2005 03:09 PM
Thank you SO much for your advice! Im gonna take it and use it and hopefully enjoy my trip (leaving saturday!). Thanks again!

Author: draco_americanus
Re: Long Trip making me nervous
Posted: 11 Mar 2005 06:11 AM
I generaly let people that I am travling with know I have bladder problems and wear protection, that way I don't need to hide anything nor need to explane why I am carrying a backpack into the bathroom or get strange looks when I stuff a diaper into a coat pocket.
When leaving for the car trip I will use rash cream but then not reapply any while out. To me the powder and cream are a waste of time when on the road and I don't have problems as long as I can reapply the stuff once a day.

avoiding caffine is a plus but I usaly don't as I am a caffine junkie.

I strongly recomend Abena or Tranquility ATN for the trip, since you will be siting they will work very well and keep spares in a backpack or if you have a jacket with large pokets that helps too.

I don't recomend urinating along the road side as in many areas this is illegal.

Author: Anonymous
Re: Long Trip making me nervous
Posted: 16 Mar 2005 01:59 PM
I understand fully about long trips but have found the answer. The Abena X-Plus and a plastic pant increases my range. Not a good idea but I got 12 hours out of one X-Plus. FYI after about four wettings I could feal the weight only when standing. So driving or flying was OK. I do bring a change wrapped in a plastic bag in my camera bag. This is to conceal the diaper and dispose of the used one. Good luck and please try the Abena brand. A trusted not AB source for plastic pants is B4NS.com

Author: Legion
Re: Long Trip making me nervous
Posted: 24 Mar 2005 05:32 PM
Well I'm back and the trip went great. I had one small leak that made me nervous but didnt get through my pants so I was safe. Sadly though I went through an entire jumbo pack of diapers during the entire trip! im shocked usually it takes me almost a month to go through that many. By the way thanks again for the advice.

Author: hammer
Re: Long Trip making me nervous
Posted: 30 Apr 2005 08:27 AM
all the sugestions that were made here sound great one more thing you could do to help add extra insurance is maybe get some underpads and kkep an underpad on the seat just in case of a leak you are keeping the carseat dry and after cleaning up you can put a fresh underpad down and not be sitting on a wet seat

Cinco de Mayo - the naughtiest holiday of the year

Time to break out the blindfold and spank the donkey.


After we polish off the Don Julio, Mistress Helen and I are going to play a game of "Drop the Chalupa", if you know what I'm saying.

And I think you do.

On a serious note (not that I wasn't being serious up to now), isn't this day celebrated in remembrance of the Mexican Army's defeat of some French forces? Don't get me wrong, I'm always thankful to have a day where my drinking problem can masquerade as socially acceptable behavior, but does that really warrant a holiday?

One at a time, ladies.

There's plenty of The Bolt to go around.