Wait a minute - the Pope gets to pick his own name?

Since when? That's awesome!

But apparently this awesomeness has been taken for granted & kicked to the curb. Benedict? If you're gonna go the Denny's route, at least pick Moons Over My Hammy.

Personally, if I suddenly started farting white smoke, I'd change my name to either Craphonso or SirValiant. Or maybe even Ozone.

Food Pyramid Fever!



I think I have a case of it! Let's examine the new groups.

ORANGE
Yikes, seal your windows with duct tape! Ha ha, just kidding - I'm talking about the Grains group, not the Terror Alert Level.

Brown rice = good, white rice = bad. Somewhere Uncle Ben weeps quietly in a darkened alleyway.

GREEN
I think you're supposed to eat darker veggies, like black beans, spinach, brown rice... wait, I thought that was in the grain group.

RED
Some of my favorite fruits include apricots, blackberries, and Charles Nelson Reilly.

YELLOW
Don't even think about it, fatass.

BLUE
Whatever happened to the "I hanker for a hunk of cheese" guy?

PURPLE
Wait a minute - the "Meat and Bean Group"? Beans are already in Green. What the hell is that crap?